Welcome to our alternate reality

I was officially diagnosed September 2012 with Auto Immune Hepatitis - AIH. It's where your immune system is just so damn kick ass it decides to attack itself, and in this instance - your liver. Unfortunately, your liver doesn't do well fighting back and becomes enlarged and scarred, and in some cases, you need a transplant. I am lucky enough to not need a transplant - or not at this point, anyway. I have severe scarring, but a 17 week course of corticosteroids doubled with an immuno suppressant has helped things get in check. I am not a typical case. I had it for years before I became jaundice, fatigue being my only symptom. Fatigue I put off from doing shift work, not being 20 anymore, a stressful job, and finally, being pregnant. I think my hormones kicked it into high gear, since it is often diagnosed in women around my age. I spent a week in hospital after some complications from a test, and was diagnosed officially about a month and a half later(?), after a liver biopsy. Now, I experience stifling fatigue, very occasional stomach pain, muscle fatigue - stairs and holding something out like looking at a shirt shopping, are difficult. It varies day to day. My feet used to hurt in different places every day when I walked, but now only the right foot hurts on the outside edge. Muscle cramps are also part of it, and it varies from time to time. Last night, I had a back muscle cramp. Often though I feel like my legs are growing - they have a strange ache about them. Not a cup of tea, but because I look fine, people don't see me as sick. I don't mind not being seen as sick when I'm out, I don't want to be pitied. But people sometimes look at me strangely when I walk slow, get confused or forget things (another issue that's recently cropped up), or press the handicap button so I don't have to pull open a heavy door. I never know how much energy I'll have on any given day. Let me introduce you to something golden: Spoon Theory

Stressed

Feeling highly stressed and also highly sensitive lately. Mother and Grandma may buy a house together which is an entirely poor decision. Not that I can stop them, but I worry about what can/may happen if it goes through. I have been having a lot of problems with Matt being very unsupportive lately also. I guess he thinks I'm not really sick? I'm not sure. But he pouts about having to do chores around the house as most of the time I can't get them done on my own. And then when his family was planning the vacation, he was very much all about himself. Saying he was going to be the one "suffering" by having to drive us (Cait & I) back from Universal Studios when we got tired because he would be missing out some of HIS time at the park. It went on and on, and even his family became frustrated by it. I broke down and cried but he didn't notice. I just couldn't believe how much of an ass he was, I sure as f*ck don't choose to be this way. I'm thinking because of the added stress, I am more sensitive to stupid tv and movies! They've been upsetting me, disturbing me emotionally and making me cry. Ridiculous. Physically, my foot has been ok the past couple of days, not too bad. I've been having some sharp pains under my ribs however. They don't last long, maybe a couple of minutes. It happened twice yesterday and three times today. I've been having headaches for a few nights now too. Unusual for me. Having an "invisible" illness makes me feel like a hypochondriac. I'm always looking for something to feel "weird" and pay special attention to my body, but any little thing that would be disregarded by me in the past is now something to be listed as a potential issue or symptom.